For the Love of MusicPosted: February 24, 2012
Dating a musician is no easy feat. Like any relationship, it requires real love, understanding and compassion. However, you also have to be willing to accept that you will come second to the “woman” (or “man”) that is their craft. My love is an extremely talented performer and I want nothing more than to see him succeed. Our relationship has made great strides since we first started dating, but it certainly hasn’t been without hitting bumps along the way.
I am a planner by nature. I like to know when things are going to happen, and I love having something fun to look forward to. We are in a long-distance relationship to boot, but I can manage when I know the next time I’m going to see him. Yet those planned visits are few and far between. Since gigs or studio time can pop up at any given moment, things can be very “take it as it goes” at times. I won’t lie. That can be downright frustrating. I’m human, so try as I might to keep the frustrations to myself, it has spilled over to him. What I am learning though, is that I have to try to shift that frustrated energy into something else. This is where the compassion comes in. It’s frustrating for me because I don’t know the next time I’ll see my boyfriend; but it’s even more frustrating for him to not have a defined answer as to when or how his music will take off. I have to always remember to be mindful of this. It also doesn’t help that I have the “I’m almost 35!” monster sitting in the back of my mind, but that’s a conversation for another blog.
I decided to hit Google the other day and did a search on how to date a musician. For me, it always helps knowing that I’m not alone. I found insightful articles that provided some great advice. One that I came across had 5 simple tips that really spoke to me. So I decided to share them with you. This particular article was written by Cintia Listenbee and can be found here: http://www.simplycintia.com/2011/03/5-tips-for-dating-musician.html#!/2011/03/5-tips-for-dating-musician.html.
Whether you are dating a musician or not, I think these tips are helpful, especially for us women. It is so easy to fall into that caretaker role and lose sight of our own paths. #5 is my most favorite: “Live your passion.” Remember to nurture and build your own dreams, while you lovingly support the dreams of your mate.
While we are on the subject of music, check out my video of the week: “Sax Fifth Avenue Flow” by Traum Diggs.
If you like it, you can hear more great music by Traum at: www.traumdiggs.com. Find Traum on Twitter (@TraumDiggs) or on Facebook (Traum Diggs).
Peace and Love.